Thread: Erectile Dysfunction

So...

A.. Um... Mate of mine... is having problems getting an erection And when he is able to get one it doesn't last for very long and isn't that hard anyway.

It started like 5 days ago, I have a really fucking sexy new 19 year old girlfriend who I started sleeping with 3 weeks ago. Usual deal, 3-4 times a day, always good, always real good actually, never had a problem...

Then a few days ago we were having sex and I couldn't ejaculate, no problem I thought, we've been having sex non-stop for 3 weeks, I'm just exhausted...

Unfortunately, the next time we had sex (6hrs later or something), the same thing happened, she got really upset like it was all her fault and got worried she wasn't good enough for me and shit (you know how girls get), anyway, that really stressed me out, that I could upset her so much just by not coming during intercourse, I really really like this girl and I don't want to screw it up over something so silly.

Ever since, it's like, I'm always thinking about it, like I cannot get it out of my fucking mind. And I stress out about getting an erection and being able to come for her. And of course, when you start worrying about that, there's no way it's going to happen

She's really fucking upset like it's all her fault (which it kinda is) and it's totally fucking our relationship...

Have any of you guys been through something similar and have any advice for me?

Or DOC do you have any suggestions? I don't think it's something Viagra or something could fix (maybe anti-anxiety meds?)

And it's not gear-related, have been clean for years, and it was never a problem then anyway...

Help me bros

Hey Matt, first of all I salute you for being so honest in open forum, and have had this similar question from a few people privately.

A great number of things can cause your problem, from meds, drugs, tiredness, anxiety, overuse...

It would seem to me that you have yourself in a vicious cycle of anxiety related to performance. This will make it a whole lot worse.

Your girlfriend is concerned that she's not pleasing you - first of all, clone her! (jokes).

What you may need to do here is try to start fresh. Hit the couples stuff, romance, a few wines, massage, warm shower/bath, more foreplay and try not to make the end result the be all and end all. The process itself is supposed to be pretty good too! Try something different, depending on what you're into, and I'll leave that there for now...

Safe sex message: If you're using condoms, maybe try a thinner variety to ensure you get more stimulation.

Communication - she needs to understand that you are satisfied with her, that she's a good lover, because at the moment she feels that she's failing you. I also think too much of a good thing here has occurred. Take a step back and don't saturate so much of your relationship with sex. Of course you're getting to know each other, and this is honeymoon stuff. However, be a little more conservative with sex and your energies. A build up of tension is perhaps what's needed.

She's 19. I'm not sure how old you are mate, but I'm thinking early/mid twenties from memory. She's still emotionally immature so you may need to really spend some time communicating how you feel, listening to how she feels and do some reassuring.

Spend more time on her. Get to know her body a little more, and teach her about yours.

I don't know why we Aussies are so fucked up over sex sometimes (and I'm not generalising), whether it's some kind of guilt we feel, shame or whether we still think some things are taboo topics. More communication is needed, more honesty.

Matt, at the end of the day mate, there's nothing wrong with you and I doubt you need medication. Try to avoid the anxiety associated with performance, because at the moment you're conditioning yourself to think that every time you have sex you won't be able to perform, she'll be let down and feel like she's failed you. It's a recipe for disaster.

Take a step back, spend some time getting to know each other and your bodies in other ways and be open and honest with each other and how you feel. You may be surprised at how a little reassurance can go a long way.

Drop me a PM if you need to chat more, and thanks for sharing.

If anyone else has any support for Matt, feel free to post or PM him.

BD

That's awesome, thanks so much mate... I'm off to the GP tomorrow to talk with him about it too. I'm just so fucking strung out about it. I kinda wish it was something physical so I could just take meds to fix it (not the right way to think, I know).

Thank you for taking the time to do all that Doc, you've made me feel much better. I will try some of your suggestions and let you know how I go...

Thanks Mate

Matt, i've been through that stuff for years. From other forums you probably already know i even went on HRT for 6 mths as a result. Spent years going to sexual health clinics in the hospital too etc.

I'll be happy to chat to you via PM anytime mate.

how common is it in steroid users.....just wondering what effect they have on this subject.

Well it's a week later, and everything has been fine for a few days now...

Last Saturday I went to the Doc and he gave me some Cialis and some Levitra, he said it would just help get me back on track. And did it ever!

So yeah, everything is fine now... I think more so because we've talked about it, and she knows I'm not superman (despite my physical likeness) and she's happy enough to get it whenever I want to (1-2 times a day), not as often as she wants to (4-5 times a day). So I don't feel stressed about it anymore...

Thanks for all your help bros, I've seriously never felt so shit in my life, I've never had serious depression or anything before but if it's anything like how I was feeling it's fucked. It really helped me to speak with you guys about it, so thank you...

Matt

Originally Posted by Supermatt

and she's happy enough to get it whenever I want to
Matt

You lucky man LOL

Glad your back on track

I had this same issue a few weeks ago. It was a girl who I had only just started seeing, and I was so worried about performance, I went and got some viagra, even though I actually hadn't ever had a problem. Even with the viagra still though, I found that after the 4th time in one night, I just couldn't cum anymore. It made me feel like shit, like I was letting her down.... I'm seeing her again next week, now I'm all nervous.

I'm also on an anti depressant, effoxer, which I've found makes it harder to cum in the first place.

I feel your pain matt. In the sense of kinda not living up to expectations...

Matt, I'm so pleased you obviously have a decent GP and a good relationship with him.

Again, mate, thanks for being so honest in open forum and it's great things have worked themselves out.

BD

I had issues a little while back and went to the doctor and found I had an inflamed prostate. I was given a prescription which helped for a while then it came back, another prescription and all has been fine for about 4 months now.

I can't remember what the tablets were.

Originally Posted by benny2

I had this same issue a few weeks ago. It was a girl who I had only just started seeing, and I was so worried about performance, I went and got some viagra, even though I actually hadn't ever had a problem. Even with the viagra still though, I found that after the 4th time in one night, I just couldn't cum anymore. It made me feel like shit, like I was letting her down.... I'm seeing her again next week, now I'm all nervous.

I'm also on an anti depressant, effoxer, which I've found makes it harder to cum in the first place.

I feel your pain matt. In the sense of kinda not living up to expectations...

You felt like shit coz u couldnt cum four times in a night? Giv urself a break man. I'm sure its a much bigger deal for u than it is for her.

iv had the same prob, got sum magical blue pills and loved it. Im kinda addicted to it myself

I found that after the 4th time in one night, I just couldn't cum anymore.

Ummm isn't that just normal. How can the body produce those little men soo quick?

Originally Posted by 3aq|e

Ummm isn't that just normal. How can the body produce those little men soo quick?

Lol, I could when I was a teenager, but I wouldn't even try these days. I'd probably have a heart attack trying to do it twice!

Quality not quantity

Had similar probs - Cialis saves the day and night all the time!