mate, no personal problem is more or less important. It's how it impacts on you that is important, not the comparitive "worth" of the problem. Circumstances may be different, longer, etc, but in the end, the emotional result is what's important, and that's entirely personal.Originally Posted by Pro H
The 5 stages of Grief:
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance.
Good luck with it.
Pro I spent 11 years with an abusive (verbally) man. But problem is i had three boys to him and the mofo wont leave me alone so now its been 22 years (that seems like alot???) of being dragged down (altho it hasnt been constant over the past 11). I get tired and worn out from continually building myself back up again but i do it and i do a damn fine job of it too ;).
The stages are often mixed up and interchangeable.
Grief
anger
regret
acceptance
depression
are the five stages but they can differ slightly to this and like i said, they dont go in order necessarily. Think of a roller coaster.
The absolute FIRST step isnt mentioned here and thats BALLS. Takes balls to end a crap relationship,especially a controlling one so nice work on reaching that stage.
ProH dont trivialise what you are going through by comparing it to anyone else. Your feelings, situation, experience is just as valid as mine as it is to T2, Bianca and so on down the track.
Im always around if you want to chat.
Oh hi there T2. Beat me to it.
Bargaining and regret often go hand in hand btw. Same as denial so you can see how the stages can change around a bit. Acceptance is your ultimate goal as T2 said but as i said, its a roller coaster.
Sexual problems this early into a relationship? You should be going at it like rabbits!
Best advice - Mate grow some balls and run for the hills - there are plenty of people out there dying to have sex. Stop wasting your time... move on - life is too short.
Mick this is a heaps old thread that ProH has just come back to update and ask some extra advice that isn't related to the first few posts necessarily.
No probs Rusha, just read the first post and threw in my 2 cents worth. Still needs to grow some balls.
Feel for ya, mate. I guess you can try look at is this way: You'll go through some pain now, but it WILL pass, If you stayed in the relationship the pain would just continue to drag the both of you through shit.
Chin up bro,
Mark
ProH - Hope you find peace with your decision. You really have to look after yourself, and it looks like you've started.
X
Mate,
I had a brief read through this thread and a few things stood out.
I was just going to ask the questions below but i think i'll answer them for you too.
Does she make you a better person? - no
Are you making her a better person? - no
So what do you gain out of the relationship? nothing for you, and you are a crutch for her.
Have you ever read the book "think and grow rich" by napolean hill. Its a great book about money etc but in one part it says (i'm paraphrasing here) "you need to select a good woman for you to reach your goals, some will pull you back and others will push you forward so select wisely". This is obviously visa versa. It seems like you are trying to push her forward but she is def holding you back.
Think of yourself as trying to push a rock up a hill. Its now become too heavy for you to push anymore, so you just standing there trying your best and getting nowhere, sooner or later your gonna get tired and it'll all come tumbling down
You need to write down what you traits are most important to you in a woman/man, and if your woman/man doesnt have them then, let them go and get one that does.
There is a diff between the traits she/he has that you like and the traits you want in a woman/man. Its the one you want thatare important.
Best of luck.
~B
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